Thursday, 13 June 2013

Glos embroiled in disgraceful sex scandal

With the recent 'allegations' regarding various stars of yesteryear's sexual behaviour it seems fitting that Gloucestershire should suddenly be plunged into it's own sleazy story of sex-fuelled indiscipline.

King John put it on the record last week that Ian 'Shagger' Cockbain wasn't selected for last week's run-fest against Glamorgan due to a lack of 'red ball' form. This is pretty much as good as a written statement that Cockbain has been sleeping with King John's wife, and potential others. How do we know this? Well, just read behind the lines. Dropped for lack of 'red ball' form. Please. Since when has any Gloucestershire player ever been dropped on form. Hamish Marshall went 3 years without a hundred! How did Mark Hardinges play at all.* Lets not even get started on Carl Greenidge, it's just too painful. Form is a word that has never had to be taken into consideration at Nevil Road selection meetings. Whilst we always hear talk of how out of form England players 'look good in the nets', Gloucestershire can't even try to claim this. Players are described as having potential, or having looked good in 2006. Form is never considered. It's also better this way. If we only picked players on form we'd be fielding half a team by the end of the season.

*incidentally, Mark Hardinges scored 4 hundreds in 49 first class matches for Glos. Hamish O'Marshall has scored 3 hundreds in 63 matches since the end of 2008 for Glos. Alex Gidman has 3 hundreds in 50 matches since the end of 2009. Hardinges also took 95 wickets. Just saying.*

So there we have it. Shagger Cockbain can only be trusted for one day cricket. Presumably keeping his libido checked over the course of 4 days is just too difficult.

In fairness, Cockbain is averaging only 15 in the second XI this season. In fairness he has only played 2 and a half second XI games.

Make up your own minds.

Given the lack of young batting talent that seems to be coming through the ranks it would be a shame if Cockbain were forced to go elsewhere to get first class cricket next season. 

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